A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
A camel is a race horse put together by a committee.

A church is a hospital, not a showcase.

A discussion is an exchange of ideas.  An argument is an admission of

   ignorance.

A free item is generally worth about what you pay for it. – Robert Heinlein

A gossip will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

A hypochondriac is a person who feels bad when he feels good for fear he will

   feel worse when he feels better.

Aim for the stars.  If you don't reach them, you'll wind up pretty high, anyway.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. – Chinese proverb

A joyful person is hard to manipulate. – Pope Francis

A man with a good watch always knows what time it is.  A man with two

   watches is never sure.

A man's best friend is his dogma.

A rising tide lifts all boats.

A sadist will never hurt a masochist.

A value is a principle you prize highly enough to put into practice.

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

An important key to completing a great work is to keep your spirit up.

Anger at injustice is necessary.  Anger at inconvenience is self-destructive.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. – Arthur

   C. Clarke

Any undesirable situation, left uncorrected, will proceed to the least desirable

   state in the shortest possible time. – Murphy's Law, Air Force Manual

Any worthwhile goal has a moral solution.

Be generous with your time. – ER's Mark Greene to daughter Rachel

Before you can do anything, you have to believe you can.

Begin at the beginning, proceed stepwise to the end, then stop. – Lewis Caroll

Behold the turtle.  He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

Better to wear out out than to rust.

Beware of giving up your rights in the name of freedom.

Beware of statements that at first seem obscure but are in fact meaningless.

Character is measured by what you do when you think no one is watching.

Civilization is measured in terms of mutual respect and a sense of duty.

Discouragement is suicide on the installment plan. – Salem Kirban
Do it right, do it once.

Dogs have owners.  Cats have staff.

Don't let the turkeys get you down. – Ronald Reagan

Don't wait for the other guy to do it.  He's waiting for you.

Doubt your doubts. – Ed Young

Every artist starts with something blank.

Every engineer or architect who draws a pretty picture needs to realize that

   somebody else is going to have to use his pretty picture. – Robert Heinlein

Every task takes longer and costs more. – Correlary to Parkinson's Law

Explain youself. – Lewis Caroll

Face your fears.  Live your dreams.

Failure to try always results in failure.

Fame is not always a reflection of one's true character.  They named an entire

   planet after the earthworm. – Johnny Hart

Familiarity breeds.

Fanaticism is zeal for which one has forgotten the reason. – Harry Reasoner

Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed.

Fear knocked.  Faith answered.  No one was there.

Fear unchallenged becomes the paralysis of the will.

Genius is ten percent inspiration and ninety percent perspiration. – Albert

   Einstein

Glacial is not a pace. – Chris Morth

Gno gnus are good gnus.  (I gnew that!)

God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things.  Right now, I am so

   far behind, I will never die. – posted by Frank Marks

God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts!

Good luck comes mainly to those who are prepared to take advantage of it.

Growth is the only evidence of life.

Hang up and drive. – bumper sticker

Hardware breaks if you don’t maintain it.  Software breaks if you do.

He chased her until she caught him.

He who hesitates is last. – Interstate 95 driver?

He who works with his hands is a laborer.  He who works with his hands and his

   head is a craftsman.  He who works with his hands and his head and his heart

   is an artist.” – Francis of Assisi

I'm not lost, I'm exploring. – bumper sticker

I miss you almost as much as if you were here. – James Thurber

I often find it hard to say the right thing when I am in a room full of mice. – Art

   Buchwald

I would have let death seize upon me while I was setting my cabbages. – de

   Montaigne

If a group of three or more tries to get you to do something, but no one knows

   why, you can be sure it's wrong. – Dagny M. (Gabrielson) Greene

If at first you don't succeed, read the directions.

If I wanted that many turnovers, I'd go to a bakery. – Coach Kathy Brawn

If it isn't broken, don't fix it.

If it's green and wiggles, it's biology.  If it stinks, it's chemistry.  If it doesn't

   work, it's physics. – Ralph Yulo

If the truth makes you free, then you are truly free. – Jesus

If we are unwilling to venture, there can be no hope.  Without risk, there can be

   no progress. – George Low

If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.

If you are fully convinced of something, put your full weight on it.

If you can read this, you should have left earlier. – bumper sticker

If you come to a fork in the road, take it. – Yogi Berra

If you compare yourself to yourself, you wind up with nothing. – Proverbs

If you don't have it, don't flaunt it.

If you find yourself saying, "That's good enough," then it isn't.  If it really were,

   there would be no need to say so.

If you settle for less, you will end up with less than you settled for.

If you start at forever ago, you never get to now.

If you strive for perfection, you will help to make the world a better place.  If you

   hold out for perfection, you will never accomplish anything.

If your dog asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.  He's testing your

   sanity. – Hugh Everett Dodgson

Imagination is a preview of life's coming attractions.

In a jam, trust your hunch. – Blake Savage

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.  In practice there

   is. – Yogi Berra

Inaction in a crisis is a decision in itself, a decision to accept disaster.

Inflation is what you are willing to pay for divided by your ability to pay. – Howard

   K. Smith

Instruct, warn, reprove, correct, challenge.

Invention is often the mother of necessity.  Your great-grandfather was never

   late for work because his horse wouldn't start.

Is the hole on the inside or the outside of a doughnut?

It doesn't hurt to smile when it's raining.

It's a lot about wonder. – Myron Beckwith

It's always too soon to quit.

It's later than you think.

It's never too late to learn, but some people put it off, anyway.

It is cheaper to forgive a fat man than to make him your slave. – Mideast saying

It is easier for a civilized person to behave like a barbarian than for a barbarian to

   pretend to be civilized. – Star Trek, Mirror Mirror

It is impossible to give full attention to one's driving when a 747 is landing on

   the median.

It is safer to be quiet about one's ignorance than to open one's mouth and

   remove all doubt.

It is safer to strike a happy medium than an angry one.

It looks as if we have them right where they want us. – James T. Kirk

Keep an open mind, just not so far that your brain falls out.

Keep on keeping on. – Ed Young

Keep your temper.  Nobody else wants it.

Know yourself. – Socrates

Leave the world better than you found it.

Let everyone sweep in front of his own house, and the whole world will be

   clean. – Chinese proverb

Let us have more light and less noise! – Abraham Lincoln

Life insurance: They're betting you'll live.  You're betting you'll die. You hope

   they're right, and they charge you for feeling that way.

Life is not a spectator sport!  (Assuming you're alive, of course.)

Life is tough?  Compared to what?
Living in a garage doesn’t make you a car.

Madness does not reason, but it may have a motive. – Spock

Maintain a wide variety of skills.  Specialization is for insects. – Robert Heinlein
Malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy and slander – the termites of the soul.

Man is the only animal that blushes – or needs to.

Measure twice, cut once.

More people die of worry than ever bled to death. – Robert Heinlein

No implementation can measure up to contradictory requirements.

No nation has long survived an ongoing foreign debt.

No one can serve two masters – and certainly not at the same time.

No one ever went blind looking at the bright side of life.

No one has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

No system devisable by the finite mind can be both complete, consistent and

   correct. – Godel

"Not necessarily" requires a counterexample.

Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.

Nothing hurts like a great idea.

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be

   overcome. Samuel Johnson

One aim of teaching is to achieve a high student-to-pupil ratio.

One can pass a class knowing seventy percent of the material.  When one is

   teaching, one hundred percent is rarely enough.

One cannot teach without also learning.

One who truly knows has no occasion to shout. Leonardo da Vinci
Online debugging is a terminal disease.

Only perfect practice makes perfect.

Only sick people need drugs.

Our temper gets us into trouble.  Our pride keeps us there.

Pain imagined is nonetheless real (nonetheless, much pain often thought to be

   imagined may already be real).

Part of the solution is to not be part of the problem.

Plan your work, then work your plan.

Procrastination is the thief of time.

Put your brain into motion before you put you mouth into gear.

Relax!  The universe won't run down if you don't wind it. – Robert Heinlein

Remember the good old days?  Me either.

Respect knows no color.

Say what you mean.  Mean what you say.

Schools are now asked to do what people used to ask God to do. – Jerome

   Cramer

Science provides an understanding of a universal experience.  Arts provide a

   universal understanding of a personal experience. – Mae Jemison

Scientists don't rust!

Self-control starts with the tongue.

Serendipity is digging for worms and finding gold.  Digging for worms and

   striking oil is just sheer dumb luck!

Silence on an issue is, at best, a vote for the way things are.  At worst, it is a

   vote for the way things are heading.
Smile!  It won't break your face!
So you can’t hit the curve ball.  Then why do you swing at it? – Ted Williams

Some make things happen.  Some get happened to.  Some wonder what

   happened.  And some don't realize that anything happened.

Some people win out, some burn out, some short out and some rust out.

Some stars may be bright, but do not point the way. Pope Francis

Speak the truth in love.

Specialization is for insects, but some people are so well-rounded they're not

   pointed in any direction.

Spinoffs are the rewards of investing innovation with quality.

Stereotypes often place you in a group with whom you have only that one thing

   in common. – Harry Reasoner

Stone walls may not make a prison – but they certainly help!

Street drugs are NOT user-friendly.

Teach for the long run.  There is no limit to how far your influence may reach.

Testing can show the presence of errors but never their absence. Dijkstra

The beginning is a very good place to start. – Maria vonTrapp

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice you give to others.

The difference between a child and an adult is who gets the bill. – Leon W.

   Greene

The happy person is the one who knows the right things and keeps doing

   them.

The mere imparting of information is not education. - Carter G. Woodson

The more you learn, the more you realize how much more there is to learn.

The most bitter brew is the spirit that will not forgive.

The most dangerous part of a car is the nut that holds the wheel.

The most outspoken critics of any endeavor may be those who haven't made the

   effort themselves.

The net output of a committee of increasing size per unit time approaches

   zero.

The only dumb question is the question not asked.

The right thing to do is also the smart thing to do. – Barak Obama

The role of a coach is to get players to achieve more than they thought

   possible. Tom Landry

The world needs who you were made to be.

The worst form of corruption is abuse of power.

There are times when silence has the loudest voice.

There are two kinds of philosophers, those who believe there are two kinds of

   philosophers and those who don't.

There may be more pleasure in wanting than in having. – Spock

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

There is only a one-letter difference between anger and danger.

There's no dispensable person.  Everyone is unique, with a unique purpose.

There's no mystery – there just seems to be!

There's no such thing as two rabbits.

Think big.  Do something that will last forever.

Try to think of another as better than yourself, but remember that it is not always

  possible to think of someone as better than they do.

Think outside the box.  What box?

This is the first day of the rest of your life.

This used to be the future.

Those who give up freedom to gain security deserve neither. Thomas

   Jefferson  (And will get neither)

Those who have no record of what their forebears have accomplished lose the

   inspiration which comes from the teaching of biography and history. - Carter G.

   Woodson

Those who only can, do.  Those who also understand, teach.

Three men can keep a secret if two of them are dead. Benjamin Franklin
To communicate with a truck driver, learn to drive a truck.

Train up a child in the way he should go, but be sure to go that way yourself.

Treat your mortality with respect.  The saddest epitath is "Oops!"

Truth must be internalized before change can take place.

Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that

   has made all the difference. – Robert Frost

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. – Salvor Hardin

We have a far greater chance of hitting the target if we can see it. – Aristotle

We learn when we listen, not when we speak.

We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes.

We were given two ears and one mouth to listen twice as much as we speak. –

   Xeno

What good are the theorems you've proved when the assumptions you've

   based them on are false? – Lee Prescott

What if the Declaration of Independence had stated that all had been given the

   inalienable responsibility to certain benefits to others, among these being

   life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?  Would our attitudes be different?

What you don't want to see, you don't see. – Pope Francis

What's the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of

   every ending and the end of every race?

When I shave, sometimes I wish I had hair.  Of course, then I'd have to use a

   blade. – Kermit

When intolerance is practiced in the name of freedom, freedom is also lost.

When people are thrown out of work, unemployment results. – Calvin Coolidge

When the going gets tough, shift to a lower gear.

When you control a man's thinking you do not have to worry about his actions.

   Carter G. Woodson

When you see something, ask yourself, "Why is it there?" – William H. Chrouser

When you prove there are things you can't prove, you have also proved there

   are at least two things you can.

When your roof has a leak, you don't appoint a committee, you fix the leak.

   Robert Heinlein

Where there is no vision, the people perish.

Whether a recursively defined algorithm is partially computable is undecidable.
Which is greater, a starfish or a star? – Patricia White

Who will guard the guardians? Old Latin proverb

Who would let a trash fire burn all day long, four inches from his face? – Shoe

Why is there never enough time to do the job right, but always time to do it

   over?

Without change, nothing is possible.

Work expands to fill the time allotted. – Parkinson's Law (from Murphy's)

Worry is like a rocking chair.  You get plenty of exercise, but it gets you

   nowhere.

Yesterday's history, tomorrow's mystery, today is a gift - the present.

You build a tool with the anticipation of using that tool. – Lee Prescott

You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.  But you can let

   him smell the water and make him thirsty.

You can see a lot just by looking. – Yogi Berra

You can't boss cats. – Nikita Khrushchev

You can't make a tail a leg by calling it one. – Abraham Lincoln

You can't make someone else smarter by filling out a form.  But realizing that

   can make you smarter.

You can't make yourself live longer by worrying about it – but you can make

   yourself live shorter.

You don't add a bathtub to a radio circuit just because there happens to be one

   available. – Robrt Heinlein

You owe it to yourself to say no. – Louis Gossett, Jr.

You take action when your image in the mirror contradicts what you want.  You

   can either fix up your face or smash the mirror.

Your idea is crazy, but not crazy enough to be true. Niels Bohr